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Tomorrow is like a beautiful sunset on a distant horizon, but today is the “do over” that you wished for yesterday! Right here! Right now! So move forward with your thinking and in your actions and be amazed at just how capable and confident you really are!
“You feel like a shadow on the front porch of what used to be your life; looking in, very present, but only on the periphery.”
Traversing the world is wonderful, but missing out on time with your family, is not. So, when the opportunity to take an assignment in my home state arose, I couldn’t have been happier. If only I had known….
As difficult as being deployed is for the loved ones of those serving in the various branches in the military, it is that much harder on the service member. This is a “different kind of deployment” because although the service member hasn’t gone, their training schedules can keep them away for weeks at time and, in many ways, being just far away enough not to go home every day is much more difficult that not being able to go home at all.
You’re doing what you have to do to support them. They are doing what they have to do as well – but it takes its toll on all involved. There is distance – where before there was none. You feel like a shadow on the front porch of what used to be your life; looking in, very present, but only on the periphery.
The back and forth takes its toll. Now you see them, now you don’t. You look forward to being with them when you can, but even more than that, you dread having to “readjust” when you return to your life without them. You wonder if they really understand and/or appreciate the sacrifices that you are making on their behalf. You don’t tell them how hard it really is and they don’t tell you. Your conversations consist of things you will do and how great it will be. It’s easier that way…but not really. Things will never really be the same again. You dare not tell them…but it’s okay… because they probably already know.
Sometimes, being authentic means seeing people exactly as they are, instead of how you would like them to be.
The truth has been right there all along but until now, you’ve tried hard NOT to see. Maybe you really wanted to believe in someone, maybe in hoping for the best you overlooked and/or forgave one too many times, or maybe emotional abuse had conditioned you to believe that you deserved nothing, and that everything that ever disagreement was your fault. In truth, wanting from someone what (in retrospect you see) they were unwilling and/or unable to give laid the foundation for the abuse to begin. Starved from everything meant making the most miniscule crumb a meal; but no more!
There are some things that you just cannot ignore. There are some times in life when all you can really do is go quietly in the mist bc there are…
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