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A Different Kind of Deployment…

“You feel like a shadow on the front porch of what used to be your life; looking in, very present, but only on the periphery.”

Traversing the world is wonderful, but missing out on time with your family, is not.  So, when the opportunity to take an assignment in my home state arose, I couldn’t have been happier.  If only I had known….

As difficult as being deployed is for the loved ones of those serving in the various branches in the military, it is that much harder on the service member. This is a “different kind of deployment” because although the service member hasn’t gone, their training schedules can keep them away for weeks at time and, in many ways, being just far away enough not to go home every day is much more difficult that not being able to go home at all.

You’re doing what you have to do to support them.  They are doing what they have to do as well – but it takes its toll on all involved.  There is distance – where before there was none.  You feel like a shadow on the front porch of what used to be your life; looking in, very present, but only on the periphery.

The back and forth takes its toll. Now you see them, now you don’t.  You look forward to being with them when you can, but even more than that, you dread having to “readjust” when you return to your life without them. You wonder if they really understand and/or appreciate the sacrifices that you are making on their behalf.  You don’t tell them how hard it really is and they don’t tell you.  Your conversations consist of things you will do and how great it will be.  It’s easier that way…but not really.  Things will never really be the same again. You dare not tell them…but it’s okay… because they probably already know.

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Children · Combat · Faith · Family · Life, Relationships · Men · Parenting · Psychology · Veterans · War · Women

Journey of 1000 miles…

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When you find yourself in a difficult situation, ask yourself the following questions;

How can I become better as a result of this experience?

What is it about this experience that troubles me?

How do I feel when I think about that?

When have I felt that way before?

Asking and answering these questions is the first step in your change process, and since “the journey of 1000 miles begins with the first step” you are well on your way!

Children · Combat · Faith · Family · Life, Relationships · Men · Parenting · Psychology · Veterans · War · Women

Holiday Hell…

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Do you feel trapped in a Holiday Hell? Has the “Spirit of the Season” left you feeling less than social? Do people you know call you “Scrooge” behind your back? Does “Silent Night” for you mean you wish that everyone would be quiet and leave you the hell alone? If you answered yes to one or more the following questions – this post is for you. Breathe – Relax – Relinquish the need to be perfect and experience the ability to “just be.” Laugh at yourself. Smile. Make merriment in your own unique way. The season was never meant to be anything more than a time to appreciate what is. So high five yourself. You don’t have to be religious to celebrate the fact that you’ve made it through another year. For all that it wasn’t, it really wasn’t that bad because you’re still here.  So, give yourself a break – HAVE NO FEAR – when things get you down – break out the mistletoe – and show em some holiday CHEER!
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Children · Combat · Faith · Family · Life, Relationships · Men · Parenting · Psychology · Veterans · War · Women

Ready, Set, Relax

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Cherish this day. For everything that it is not,  it is in fact YOURS! Things may not always happen the way that you want them too, but rest assured, they are indeed happening the way that you need them. Life lessons are all around us. When you are able and ready to take in the answers you seek, they will appear. Until then,relax, learn, let go, and most of all JUST BE.