Sometimes, being authentic means seeing people exactly as they are, instead of how you would like them to be.
The truth has been right there all along but until now, you’ve tried hard NOT to see. Maybe you really wanted to believe in someone, maybe in hoping for the best you overlooked and/or forgave one too many times, or maybe emotional abuse had conditioned you to believe that you deserved nothing, and that everything that ever disagreement was your fault. In truth, wanting from someone what (in retrospect you see) they were unwilling and/or unable to give laid the foundation for the abuse to begin. Starved from everything meant making the most miniscule crumb a meal; but no more!
There are some things that you just cannot ignore. There are some times in life when all you can really do is go quietly in the mist bc there are some things no amount of sorry can fix. What you are left with is beat up broken down version of the you that once existed, but that’s ok. You take what’s left of dreams, hold on to your fragments of hope, and find a way to be grateful for the experience. It takes away the sting.
Every awful truth you are now willing to see about them, brings with it a newer and deeper insights into self.
Even though things did not happen the way you would have wanted them to, they happened the way that you needed them to. You’re amazed at how upset you are not, but more so by how ready you are to let go of something whose time has come and gone.
Starting over is a lie that people tell themselves. You’re not starting over- you’re simply moving on. Kind of like getting on or off the bus at your particular destination. That’s not starting over – it’s just taking you where you need to be. The tiny part of you that wishes the person would see and understand the error of their ways, is overruled by the memories of the way things really are. There are no long tearful good byes – no arguments – in fact it’s very anticlimactic which reinforces the fact that (for you) it really is over. ©