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Fragments of a family….

On that day, the beginning of their ending commenced. 

 The bankrupting of their ability to believe annihilated their innocence and they all seemed to wear the weight of a world gone wrong upon their shoulders.  Life’s lessons had taken their toll and homelessness had shown them just how harsh life could be.

The oldest one’s frightened expressi0n, garbled speech, and how the right side of her face had twisted into an expression half smile were forever etched into her mind.  It took all she had not to cry hysterically with her. She knew she needed to appear calm as to calm the oldest one, but inside the exact opposite was true.  She was just as terrified; perhaps even moreso.

 The days that followed were a blur of tears, hope, fear, and frustration.  Her reality was instantly turned into a roller coaster; hopeful one minute; spiraling down into despair the next.

She questioned the same God to whom she prayed.  In the twinkling of an eye, life as they had known it, yet again, changed. 

She reflected upon all that they had been through and wondered if they would ever know peace or if perhaps, God sent her prayers straight to voicemail. Whatever it was, for them, (and for herself as well) she had no choice but to go on.

Seeing her mother and father confirmed what the oldest one had already known.  Her time here was nearing the end.  For her, the great divide between life and death grew smaller each day.  To others she appeared confused.  Her garbled speech made it impossible to tell them of her experiences.  No matter how hard she tried, nothing that she said made sense. 

Being able to relax into the immediacy of her experience allowed her to enjoy (without question) the company of those who had preceded her in death.  There were no words fit enough to describe the magnificence of what she had been privileged to see.  They were always there with her.  In the still of the night – they made her laugh.  Not being able to speak was the only part of this experience that she did not understand.  In her current state, however,  she didn’t need to.  She knew that her time was close.  She was ready to leave. She wanted to go, but something kept her here.©

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2 thoughts on “Fragments of a family….

  1. It’s very eloquent and articulate always. I only know how to express my views and try to get my points across and my sentiments though to others via how I write. But what caught my attention most was the VERY first and Last sentences of the blog. No one including your children, brothers, sisters, and most trusted Loved ones shall never ever supposed to take it upon themselves to predict when anyone’s time is because of one. My dad passed away when I was 13, 2 weeks before entering the 8th grade. I knew little to nothing of pain and anguish except that I have no tolerance to it. I can’t eat, work, breathe, sleep, sit up,or function with it. tried to HURT myself whenever I sad – because I hated it so much. To me, Despression is the worst and most torturing feeling in mankind. I’d jump off a Buliding on to rocks in a happy-heartbeat rather that live through the death of my mom, without As we are created in his likeness, NOTHING but him, who plan on joining him one day, can do that. I think Those who take it upon themselves to end lives get sent elsewhere. Like the oldest living relative in our family’s history, my grandmother who’ll be 93 in 3 months on my Mom’s side. We all swore, and many more times we though she was gone, her time has been up every year since before I was born.

    Get back to me.

    1. I think I need either a circle of friends and a surrounding of close Loved-ones who care JUST as much about ME as I do them in order to feel appreciated and valued, and to feel responsible for and love enough to want to Press on and LIVE for when the going is at Down-bottom.

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